apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
