singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
