covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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