you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I think I have vodka in my lungs
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
