it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
