She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
