i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
