He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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