talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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