I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
This is classic penis vs brain.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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