She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize