we have officially lost it.
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
