Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize