i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
