Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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