I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize