just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
