um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
