Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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