Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
