Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
