Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
