I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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