any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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