You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Randomize
