Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
