I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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