ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
do nipples grow back?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
