Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
try to milk me bitch
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
