you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
