Your face is a jimmy john
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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