sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
