she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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