i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
