id be glad to
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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