Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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