Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
