the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
