So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize