I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
