Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
