talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
