Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
