I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize