he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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