We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize