my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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