you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
