I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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