yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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