; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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