An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
