I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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