Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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