I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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