I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
splinters make it hard to masturbate
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
