If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
