Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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