I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
she smelled like a LAN party
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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