Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
