people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
