I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
