i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize