I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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