one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm sobbing to NWA
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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